Massacre in Western Sahara

thought I'd share this with the world:

Hello . . . You are receiving this email because you have expressed an

interest in the Saharawi people. I am in the camps right now, where we

have a large team on the ground.

We are in the midst of a never-before experience here. Please read the

following message and consider passing it on to anyone who

might be able to help...either through prayer or in a practical way.

Thank you! Janet

URGENT....URGENT....URGENT.....URGENT.....URGENT....Nov. 10, 2010

This is an urgent plea on behalf of the Saharawi people. At this moment

in time, the situation has become explosive. We, American citizens are in

the Saharawi refugee camps, watching a nightmare unfold before our very eyes.

In the Homeland of Western Sahara:

· Tens of thousands of Saharawi were amassing in a peaceful

demonstration "camp" outside their former capital city of Layoune,

Western Sahara.

· Morocco, the occupying government since 1975, expelled all

journalists and news media last week, cutting the homeland off from any

outside witnesses.

· Monday, Nov. 8, 2010...Moroccan forces surrounded the peaceful,

unarmed protest "camp" and began a crackdown; in the early morning hours

they began burning tents, beating women and children, spraying the

Saharawi with tear gas and hot water, and then turned to the use of live

ammunition.

Tuesday, Nov. 9, 2010

· The President of the Saharawi people

announced to the population that they are being asked to show restraint

and continue to hold to peaceful actions, as they have done since 1991.

· Tuesday, Nov. 9, 2010 . . . Negotiations which were scheduled to be

held between Morocco and the Saharawi were encouraged to continue by the

Saharawi President, even though his people were under Morocco's attack.

The Saharawi negotiations representatives returned to the table, but

finding a continued, entrenched stand by Morocco, negotiations ended.

In the refugee camps of the Saharawi, Sahara Desert of Algeria:

· Wednesday, Nov. 10, ... Our American team is living amongst a

people in the refugee camps who are receiving phone calls from their

family members in the homeland, hearing the terror in their voices as

they describe the brutality they are experiencing at the hands of

Moroccan troops, pleading for help. Men and women are being beaten,

youth are being physically taken from their homes, bodies are decaying

in the street because the Saharawi cannot get out to bury them. There

are a growing number of toddlers found wandering around, unable to

express what has happened to them, and their parents' whereabouts are

unknown.

Today, 150 Saharawi are missing, 11 dead, and over 700 injured.

· Wednesday, Nov. 10, ... Frustration, anger and rage have pushed

the Saharawi in the camps to their own breaking point of patience for

any justice. They cannot bear doing nothing, knowing their families

are living in horror. The governments' plea for further patience may

not be able to restrain the anger that has built inside this peaceful

people since they were forced from their homes in 1975.

As Believers in the God Who Sees and the God of Justice and Mercy, we

are asking you to urgently take action to bring this story to the

awareness of the United States.

Saturday, Nov. 13, 2010

Here is an update Janet wrote just before leaving Saturday night on what we know about the Saharawi

situation....URGENT...URGENT...

Events are escalating in the Saharawi refugee camps. Each day there have been more and more reports coming into families in the camps via cell phone communication from the occupied homeland families. Some of that information is as follow:

· No known journalists remain in the area

· 37 identified bodies discovered in a mass grave near the now-destroyed protest camp outside Layoune. Many more bodies remain in the streets, unable to be identified by families due to their inability to come out of hiding

· Over 4000 have been injured.

· Frantic messages from terrorized family members in Layoune continue to pour into the camps via cell phone contact with their families, often from women pleading for help from the refugee population. Screams and crying have been replayed on the radio station throughout the camps. The effect on the refugees is wrenching.

· Eye-witnesses in the area outside Layoune report seeing Moroccan helicopters dropping bodies into the sea, clothed in the traditional blue robes of the Saharawi.

· Moroccan civilians clothed as Saharawi have been armed by Morocco with pistols and knives, and encouraged to attack and kill Saharawi civilians, who remain unarmed. This has heightened the terror of the already-panicked Saharawi, now unable to easily identify who might be a dangerous person.

· The number of dead continues to mount, including very young children and the elderly.

· The number of disappeared individuals is over 2000. Most of the dead who can be identified are those on the list of disappeared.

· More than 2000 were arrested.

· Last night 6 were judged in court, one of them a young man who had visited the refugee camps in the past year.

In the refugee camps:

· Today, Saturday, Nov. 13, larger and growing demonstrations are taking place, mainly by young men, demanding to go to war against Morocco. They are completely disillusioned toward any peaceful means after growing up in the past 20 years of cease fire, during which no progress has been made to give the Saharawi their chance for a referendum. They want to stop the killing of their family members on the other side of the land mined berm and to have their country 19s freedom from Morocco's cruel oppression. The sounds of caravans of cars and trucks filled with shouting young people have filled roadways as they travel camp to camp, adding more and more cars of young people to their protest. This has been going on the past 3 nights, and all day today.

· The Saharawi President announced to the UN that if there is no significant action taken by the UN or the world community by this coming Tuesday, he cannot be responsible for what may happen as his people approach the brink of taking matters into their own hands against Morocco.

· Nov. 14 marks the anniversary in 1975 of the agreement made between Morocco, Mauritania and Spain to take control of Western Sahara, dividing it and its resources between the three countries. At that time, Western Sahara had been fighting to gain its independence from Spain, under which the Saharawi homeland had been colonized since the 1800's. This further deepens the wounds of the Saharawi people, who have chosen to pursue peace until a resolution could come through the UN's promise of a referendum.

going backwards...

"I wonder why progress looks so much like destruction." ---john steinbeck.

I'm not sure why i've even come to this entry....
I have about 15 people waiting to hear back from me. Work to get done. Packing to do...
and yet I just don't have the desire to do any of that...
it's almost torture to go to my email and look at all the 'unreplied' to emails....
in a lot of ways, I feel like I'm losing my mind.
I've never been like this. I'm usually always on top of things, quick to respond and let people know whatever it is they want to know...
but I've just gotten stuck... and I feel like I'm moving backwards a little...
i have about a million things to get done before I head to Indiana on Wednesday morning.. (not to mention the work I have to do even when I'm GONE...)
I just have to keep telling myself "I'm laid back....I'm a relaxed person...I'm not uptight..." and hopefully that's all true.If you are one of those people that I've put off getting back to, really, it's nothing personal...I WILL get back to you.

anyway.
here I am. typing for seemingly no reason.

life.
is.
strange.

I'm not as eloquent as I thought I was.... sometimes I just just have to say it. Life is weird.

it all seems to be summed up in that phrase.

and I end with a quote that's been on the chalkboard in my living room for the last 3 weeks...
I can't get myself to erase it b/c every time I read it, it makes my chest ache..

"these are the hardest times of submission to the will of God. We cry. We ache. We plead for change, but year after year, there is no change. Oh, the test to faith this is! But let us not join in the rebellion. Let us put our hands on our mouths and unclench our fists and prostrate ourselves before the Lord of infinite wisdom, justice, and love. And let us say, when all our tears are spent. May the Lord do what seems good to Him. " ------J. Piper on 1 Samuel 3:18.

| Undone |

What we leave behind
isn't shed like a mask
the layers are steadily, slowly peeled back.

What we grasp in our hands
clenching hearts made of stone,
are fettered by chains 'till we let them go

There's a way that He comes
in destruction and pain
and we cannot resist Him, our only hope for change.

And we cry in the night,
from regret and reprieve
But He's there in the quiet, will he redeem?

So we know hearts are fragile,
cause I've felt my own break
And we know He's a lover, so we wait, and we wait.

I'm not after the means,
I've got battles to fight.
Let me come to His water, let me drink of the Light.

Though my heart cannot numb,
though the risk seems to great.
I will learn from disaster, I will trust in His grace.

So here's to the fight,
there's a war to be won.
we're killing the flesh, we're coming undone.

| Awake | (a song)

There's a fire in the dark
and it's ravaging through
all the lies that I held,
that I held to be true.

There's a swell in the tide
with the waves lashing violently,
crushing the things I once knew.

And the harder I try,
the more clearly I find
How I truly can't earn,
I cannot earn what saves.

And this stone in my chest
can melt with a touch
and become in Your Hands
like a softening clay.

Awake the dawn of Spring
For Winter's death is through.
Awake the dawn of Spring
For You make all things new.

Let me drown like a flood
when I can't seem to break,
'cause I know You're the storm
You're the thunder, the rain.

Could your mercy permit
me to stay under fire,
'cause I know the fight
you bring beauty from pain.

Awake the Dawn of Spring,
For winter's death is through.
Awake the dawn of Spring,
For you make all things new.
You make all things new.

| Pages |

Worn around the edges,
loosened at the bind,
stained and pages yellowed
in the dim and fading light.

It's been a painful read
one you almost want to end,
But chapters keep on coming
though he's long since held the pen.

There are no ways around it,
every page it must be read,
and if no understanding?
He'll teach you it again.

But take heed friend, you'll want to learn
through painful storyline
He is an author, yes, but more
the Giver of new Life.

You aren't allowed to read ahead
nor try and put it down.
You simply have to turn a page
and let the words be found.

But He is kind and keeps you from
the things you long to know.
He gives you time to linger
in the page he chose to show.

So listen friend, and turn your ear
when pages feel like wounds....
He grows the heart, heals the torn
and writes to make things new.

And when the final page is turned
and He's all we see ahead
the weathered word's are worth the read
He'll be our joyful end.

Approval:

I came across this quote the other day, tucked away in the pages of an old journal of mine..


It was utterly convicting, and reminded me of how self-serving I am..
so I thought I'd share..

"I think as I am immersed in Christian sub-culture, Christian friends, a Christian school, a Christian community with Christian conversation, and a Christian church that from time to time, my longing for people to see God's glory in my life outweighs my longing for Christ Himself.
Much of what I do as a proud human being is a result of my desire for people to see me doing it.

Think about it..

would I serve faithfully, feed and clothe the homeless, study the Bible, host prayer meetings, plan missions trips, if no human being ever saw me doing it or encouraged me in my faith?

Would I desire Christ with no none by my side to encourage and fight with me?
Would I desire Christ if it meant being the focus of hatred from humans on earth?
Would I preach Christ down the barrel of a gun?
Would I be tortured, beaten, stoned, hung, crucified.......

If I KNEW that no one would ever hear about it?

If the glorious tale of my martyrdom went untold?
Or what if your torturer promised that he would tell the world that you renounced the name of the One for which you died, and entered eternity, kicking, screaming, begging for mercy, and cursing the name of Christ?

If I new the world would think I was a coward.

then would I be willing??


It's amazing how deep a desire for the approval of man runs... "

:Jesus as the Thread:

Jesus is the thread that leads us through Scripture. His story doesn't begin in the New Testament, but in THE beginning...

I was reading back through some journals the other day,
found this excerpt from a Tim Keller sermon.
Every time I go back over it, it seems to hit me even harder..

"Jesus is the true and better Adam,
who passed the test in the garden
and whose obedience is imputed to us.
Jesus is the true and better Abel,
who, though innocently slain,
has blood now that cries out
not for our condemnation, but for our acquittal.
Jesus is the true and better Abraham
who answered the call of God
to leave all the comfortable and familiar,
and go out into the void, not knowing
whither he went, to create a new people of God.
Jesus is the true and better Isaac,
who was not just offered up by his Father on the mount,
but was truly sacrificed for us.
And when God said to Abraham,
"now I know you love me, because you did not withhold your son,
your only son whom you love from me,
now we can look at God, taking his son up the mountain
and sacrificing Him, and say, "now we know that you love us,
because you did not withhold your son, your only son whom you love, from us."
Jesus is the true and better Jacob
who wrestled and took the blow of justice we deserve,
so we, like Jacob, only receive the wounds of grace to wake us up and discipline us.
Jesus is the true and better Joseph,
who at the right hand of the king,
forgives those who betrayed and sold Him,
and uses His new power to save them.
Jesus is the true and better Moses,
who stands in the gap between the people and the Lord
and who mediates a new covenant.
Jesus is the true and better rock of Moses
who was struck with the rod of God's justice,
and now gives us water in the desert.
Jesus is the true and better Job,
the truly innocent sufferer,
who then interecedes for and saves his stupid friends.
Jesus is the true and better David,
whose victory becomes his people's victory
though they never lifted a stone to accomplish it themselves.
Jesus is the true and better Esther,
who didn't just risk losing an earthly palace,
but lost the ultimate and heavenly one,
who didn't just risk his life, but gave his life to save his people.
Jesus is the true and better Jonah,
who was cast out into the storm so we could be brought in.
Jesus is the real rock of Moses
He is the real passover Lamb,
innocent.
perfect.
helpless.
slain so that the angel of death would pass over us.
He is the true temple.
the true prophet.
the true priest.
the true king.
the true sacrifice.
the true lamb.
the true light.
the true bread.....

The Bible's really not about you.

It's about Him. "


amen.

Redefining the Terms : Love

trying to grapple with what it truly looks like to LOVE, starting with my love for Jesus. (or lack there of)

I came across this song a few weeks ago... at first, I wanted to make it about marriage (b/c this is, I'm sure, what Peterson is talking about..) however, it began to transcend the initial application, and its just been screaming at me the last week or so. Thinking more and more of what it truly means to love and be loved....and how for a long time, I thought I could love on my own ability....

I want to really KNOW this love that he speaks of..
I want to experience it.


the following is an Andrew Peterson Song...

__________________________

__

"It knocked me down,
it dragged me out,
it left me there for dead.
It took all the freedom I wanted and gave me something else instead.
It blew my mind,
it bled me dry,
it hit me like a long goodbye,
and nobody here knows better than I that it’s a good thing.
Love is a good thing.
It’ll fall like rain on your parade,
laugh at the plans that you tried to make,
it’ll wear you down till your heart just breaks and it’s a good thing.
Love is a good thing.
It’ll wake you up in the middle of the night,
it’ll take just a little too much.
It’ll burn you like a cinder till you’re tender to the touch.
It’ll chase you down,
swallow you whole,
it’ll make your blood run hot and cold.
Like a thief in the night it’ll steal your soul,
and that’s a good thing.
Love is a good thing.
It’ll follow you down to the ruin of your great divide,
and open the wounds that you tried to hide.
And there in the rubble of the heart that died you’ll find a good thing.
Love is a good thing.
Oh, Take cover, the end is near.
Take cover, but do not fear.
It’ll break your will,
it’ll change your mind,
it’ll loose all the chains of the ties that bind.
If you’re lucky you’ll never make it out alive,
and that’s a good thing.
Love is a good thing.
It can hurt like a blast from a hand grenade
when all that used to matter is blown away.
There in the middle of the mess it made you’ll find a good thing.
Yes, it’s worth every penny of the price you paid.
It’s a good thing.
Love is a good thing.
Do not fear."

dang.

"The Cross also exposes me before the eyes of other people, informing them of the depth of my depravity. If I wanted others to think highly of me I would conceal the fact that a shameful slaughter of the perfect Son of God was required that I might be saved" Milton Vincent

(thank you via Mike D.)

Sara Groves: Like a Lake

I knew I could come back to Sara Groves' recent album in order to find some sort solace when I needed it..
It's a strange thing she does...she seems to be intimately connected to my life, then she writes songs about it... (haha, I realize how many people must say the same things.. )
but for reasons unknown, she wrote one already that I needed to write myself....




Like a Lake:
so much hurt and preservation
like a tendril round my soul
so much painful information
no clear way on how to hold it

when everything in me is tightening
curling in around this ache
I will lay my heart wide open
like the surface of a lake
wide open like a lake

standing at this waters edge
looking in at God's own heart
I've no idea where to begin
to swallow up the way things are

everything in me is drawing in
closing in around this pain
I will lay my heart wide open
like the surface of a lake
wide open like a lake

bring the wind and bring the thunder
bring the rain till I am tried
when it's over bring me stillness
let my face reflect the sky
and all the grace and all the wonder
of a peace that I can't fake
wide open like a lake

everything in me is tightening
curling in around this ache
I am fighting to stay open
I am fighting to stay open
open open oh wide open
open like a lake

{Resolutions}

what I can learn from Jonathan Edwards.
the kid was 19 at the time of writing these...
yes, mind you, 19. (a teenager)
I had to get out my dictionary for a few words...(it made it more rich)
I've always known about these, but never fully read through them....
was blown away tonight.
do you think this guy lived intentionally?
_____________________________________________

The Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards (1722-1723)

Being sensible that I am unable to do anything without God's help, I do humbly entreat him by his grace to enable me to keep these Resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to his will, for Christ's sake.

Remember to read over these Resolutions once a week.

1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God's glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriad's of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many and how great soever.

2. Resolved, to be continually endeavoring to find out some new invention and contrivance to promote the aforementioned things.

3. Resolved, if ever I shall fall and grow dull, so as to neglect to keep any part of these Resolutions, to repent of all I can remember, when I come to myself again.

4. Resolved, never to do any manner of thing, whether in soul or body, less or more, but what tends to the glory of God; nor be, nor suffer it, if I can avoid it.

5. Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.

6. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.

7. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life.

8. Resolved, to act, in all respects, both speaking and doing, as if nobody had been so vile as I, and as if I had committed the same sins, or had the same infirmities or failings as others; and that I will let the knowledge of their failings promote nothing but shame in myself, and prove only an occasion of my confessing my own sins and misery to God.

9. Resolved, to think much on all occasions of my own dying, and of the common circumstances which attend death.

10. Resolved, when I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom, and of hell.

11. Resolved, when I think of any theorem in divinity to be solved, immediately to do what I can towards solving it, if circumstances don't hinder.

12. Resolved, if I take delight in it as a gratification of pride, or vanity, or on any such account, immediately to throw it by.

13. Resolved, to be endeavoring to find out fit objects of charity and liberality.

14. Resolved, never to do anything out of revenge.

15. Resolved, never to suffer the least motions of anger to irrational beings.

16. Resolved, never to speak evil of anyone, so that it shall tend to his dishonor, more or less, upon no account except for some real good.

17. Resolved, that I will live so as I shall wish I had done when I come to die.

18. Resolved, to live so at all times, as I think is best in my devout frames, and when I have clearest notions of things of the gospel, and another world.

19. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if I expected it would not be above an hour, before I should hear the last trump.

20. Resolved, to maintain the strictest temperance in eating and drinking.

21. Resolved, never to do anything, which if I should see in another, I should count a just occasion to despise him for, or to think any way the more meanly of him.

22. Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the power; might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of.

23. Resolved, frequently to take some deliberate action, which seems most unlikely to be done, for the glory of God, and trace it back to the original intention, designs and ends of it; and if I find it not to be for God's glory, to repute it as a breach of the 4th Resolution.

24. Resolved, whenever I do any conspicuously evil action, to trace it back, till I come to the original cause; and then both carefully endeavor to do so no more, and to fight and pray with all my might against the original of it.

25. Resolved, to examine carefully, and constantly, what that one thing in me is, which causes me in the least to doubt of the love of God; and to direct all my forces against it.

26. Resolved, to cast away such things, as I find do abate my assurance.

27. Resolved, never willfully to omit anything, except the omission be for the glory of God; and frequently to examine my omissions.

28. Resolved, to study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, as that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow in the knowledge of the same.

29. Resolved, never to count that a prayer, nor to let that pass as a prayer, nor that as a petition of a prayer, which is so made, that I cannot hope that God will answer it; nor that as a confession, which I cannot hope God will accept.

30. Resolved, to strive to my utmost every week to be brought higher in religion, and to a higher exercise of grace, than I was the week before.

31. Resolved, never to say anything at all against anybody, but when it is

perfectly agreeable to the highest degree of Christian honor, and of love to mankind, agreeable to the lowest humility, and sense of my own faults and failings, and agreeable to the golden rule; often, when I have said anything against anyone, to bring it to, and try it strictly by the test of this Resolution.

32. Resolved, to be strictly and firmly faithful to my trust, that that in Prov. 20:6, "A faithful man who can find?" may not be partly fulfilled in me.

33. Resolved, always to do what I can towards making, maintaining, establishing and preserving peace, when it can be without over-balancing detriment in other respects. Dec.26, 1722.

34. Resolved, in narration's never to speak anything but the pure and simple verity.

35. Resolved, whenever I so much question whether I have done my duty, as that my quiet and calm is thereby disturbed, to set it down, and also how the question was resolved. Dec. 18, 1722.

36. Resolved, never to speak evil of any, except I have some particular good call for it. Dec. 19, 1722.

37. Resolved, to inquire every night, as I am going to bed, wherein I have been negligent, what sin I have committed, and wherein I have denied myself: also at the end of every week, month and year. Dec.22 and 26, 1722.

38. Resolved, never to speak anything that is ridiculous, sportive, or matter of laughter on the Lord's day. Sabbath evening, Dec. 23, 1722.

39. Resolved, never to do anything that I so much question the lawfulness of, as that I intend, at the same time, to consider and examine afterwards, whether it be lawful or no; except I as much question the lawfulness of the omission.

40. Resolved, to inquire every night, before I go to bed, whether I have acted in the best way I possibly could, with respect to eating and drinking. Jan. 7, 1723.

41. Resolved, to ask myself at the end of every day, week, month and year, wherein I could possibly in any respect have done better. Jan. 11, 1723.

42. Resolved, frequently to renew the dedication of myself to God, which was made at my baptism; which I solemnly renewed, when I was received into the communion of the church; and which I have solemnly re-made this twelfth day of January, 1722-23.

43. Resolved, never henceforward, till I die, to act as if I were any way my own, but entirely and altogether God's, agreeable to what is to be found in Saturday, January 12. Jan.12, 1723.

44- Resolved, that no other end but religion, shall have any influence at all on any of my actions; and that no action shall be, in the least circumstance, any otherwise than the religious end will carry it. Jan.12, 1723.

45. Resolved, never to allow any pleasure or grief, joy or sorrow, nor any affection at all, nor any degree of affection, nor any circumstance relating to it, but what helps religion. Jan.12 and 13.1723.

46. Resolved, never to allow the least measure of any fretting uneasiness at my father or mother. Resolved to suffer no effects of it, so much as in the least alteration of speech, or motion of my eve: and to be especially careful of it, with respect to any of our family.

47. Resolved, to endeavor to my utmost to deny whatever is not most agreeable to a good, and universally sweet and benevolent, quiet, peace able, contented, easy, compassionate, generous, humble, meek, modest, submissive, obliging, diligent and industrious, charitable, even, patient, moderate, forgiving, sincere temper; and to do at all times what such a temper would lead me to. Examine strictly every week, whether I have done so. Sabbath morning. May 5,1723.

48. Resolved, constantly, with the utmost niceness and diligence, and the strictest scrutiny, to be looking into the state of my soul, that I may know whether I have truly an interest in Christ or no; that when I come to die, I may not have any negligence respecting this to repent of. May 26, 1723.

49. Resolved, that this never shall be, if I can help it.

50. Resolved, I will act so as I think I shall judge would have been best, and most prudent, when I come into the future world. July 5, 1723.

51. Resolved, that I will act so, in every respect, as I think I shall wish I had done, if I should at last be damned. July 8, 1723.

52. I frequently hear persons in old age say how they would live, if they were to live their lives over again: Resolved, that I will live just so as I can think I shall wish I had done, supposing I live to old age. July 8, 1723.

53. Resolved, to improve every opportunity, when I am in the best and happiest frame of mind, to cast and venture my soul on the Lord Jesus Christ, to trust and confide in him, and consecrate myself wholly to him; that from this I may have assurance of my safety, knowing that I confide in my Redeemer. July 8, 1723.

54. Whenever I hear anything spoken in conversation of any person, if I think it would be praiseworthy in me, Resolved to endeavor to imitate it. July 8, 1723.

55. Resolved, to endeavor to my utmost to act as I can think I should do, if I had already seen the happiness of heaven, and hell torments. July 8, 1723.

56. Resolved, never to give over, nor in the least to slacken my fight with my corruptions, however unsuccessful I may be.

57. Resolved, when I fear misfortunes and adversities, to examine whether ~ have done my duty, and resolve to do it; and let it be just as providence orders it, I will as far as I can, be concerned about nothing but my duty and my sin. June 9, and July 13 1723.

58. Resolved, not only to refrain from an air of dislike, fretfulness, and anger in conversation, but to exhibit an air of love, cheerfulness and benignity. May27, and July 13, 1723.

59. Resolved, when I am most conscious of provocations to ill nature and anger, that I will strive most to feel and act good-naturedly; yea, at such times, to manifest good nature, though I think that in other respects it would be disadvantageous, and so as would be imprudent at other times. May 12, July ii, and July 13.

60. Resolved, whenever my feelings begin to appear in the least out of order, when I am conscious of the least uneasiness within, or the least irregularity without, I will then subject myself to the strictest examination. July 4, and 13, 1723.

61. Resolved, that I will not give way to that listlessness which I find unbends and relaxes my mind from being fully and fixedly set on religion, whatever excuse I may have for it-that what my listlessness inclines me to do, is best to be done, etc. May 21, and July 13, 1723.

62. Resolved, never to do anything but duty; and then according to Eph. 6:6-8, do it willingly and cheerfully as unto the Lord, and not to man; "knowing that whatever good thing any man doth, the same shall he receive of the Lord." June 25 and July 13, 1723.

63. On the supposition, that there never was to be but one individual in the world, at any one time, who was properly a complete Christian, in all respects of a right stamp, having Christianity always shining in its true luster, and appearing excellent and lovely, from whatever part and under whatever character viewed: Resolved, to act just as I would do, if I strove with all my might to be that one, who should live in my time. Jan.14' and July '3' 1723.

64. Resolved, when I find those "groanings which cannot be uttered" (Rom. 8:26), of which the Apostle speaks, and those "breakings of soul for the longing it hath," of which the Psalmist speaks, Psalm 119:20, that I will promote them to the utmost of my power, and that I will not be wear', of earnestly endeavoring to vent my desires, nor of the repetitions of such earnestness. July 23, and August 10, 1723.

65. Resolved, very much to exercise myself in this all my life long, viz. with the greatest openness I am capable of, to declare my ways to God, and lay open my soul to him: all my sins, temptations, difficulties, sorrows, fears, hopes, desires, and every thing, and every circumstance; according to Dr. Manton's 27th Sermon on Psalm 119. July 26, and Aug.10 1723.

66. Resolved, that I will endeavor always to keep a benign aspect, and air of acting and speaking in all places, and in all companies, except it should so happen that duty requires otherwise.

67. Resolved, after afflictions, to inquire, what I am the better for them, what good I have got by them, and what I might have got by them.

68. Resolved, to confess frankly to myself all that which I find in myself, either infirmity or sin; and, if it be what concerns religion, also to confess the whole case to God, and implore needed help. July 23, and August 10, 1723.

69. Resolved, always to do that, which I shall wish I had done when I see others do it. Aug. 11, 1723.

70. Let there be something of benevolence, in all that I speak.

thank's oswald.

"When we discern that other people are not growing spiritually and allow that discernment to turn to criticism, we block our fellowship w/ God.
God never gives us discernment so that we may criticize, but that we may intercede. " ----oswald.chambers.

ooooor, we just are self-righteous to begin with when we think we can even BEGIN to discern how other people are growing spiritually..

writing for writing's sake?

is blogging just another outlet of narcissism? is the need to express oneself really grounded in the fact that we are all just really in love w/ ourselves?

maybe that's a question to wrestle through personally...but I'm just throwing it out there..

i like to write...
that's all I'm saying for now.. still trying to figure my heart out..

Slow to speak, slow to anger, quick to listen....

James 1:19.

let's talk about it..