going backwards...

"I wonder why progress looks so much like destruction." ---john steinbeck.

I'm not sure why i've even come to this entry....
I have about 15 people waiting to hear back from me. Work to get done. Packing to do...
and yet I just don't have the desire to do any of that...
it's almost torture to go to my email and look at all the 'unreplied' to emails....
in a lot of ways, I feel like I'm losing my mind.
I've never been like this. I'm usually always on top of things, quick to respond and let people know whatever it is they want to know...
but I've just gotten stuck... and I feel like I'm moving backwards a little...
i have about a million things to get done before I head to Indiana on Wednesday morning.. (not to mention the work I have to do even when I'm GONE...)
I just have to keep telling myself "I'm laid back....I'm a relaxed person...I'm not uptight..." and hopefully that's all true.If you are one of those people that I've put off getting back to, really, it's nothing personal...I WILL get back to you.

anyway.
here I am. typing for seemingly no reason.

life.
is.
strange.

I'm not as eloquent as I thought I was.... sometimes I just just have to say it. Life is weird.

it all seems to be summed up in that phrase.

and I end with a quote that's been on the chalkboard in my living room for the last 3 weeks...
I can't get myself to erase it b/c every time I read it, it makes my chest ache..

"these are the hardest times of submission to the will of God. We cry. We ache. We plead for change, but year after year, there is no change. Oh, the test to faith this is! But let us not join in the rebellion. Let us put our hands on our mouths and unclench our fists and prostrate ourselves before the Lord of infinite wisdom, justice, and love. And let us say, when all our tears are spent. May the Lord do what seems good to Him. " ------J. Piper on 1 Samuel 3:18.